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Only a vague sense of a spouse entered this fantasy.A hazy outline of a man, wearing a tuxedo, hovered in the background like a waiter ready to fill my water glass. When I met my future husband in my mid-20s, I had long forgotten my childhood fantasy. Products of bad divorces, we bonded over our aversion to the concept.The family belongs to both husband and wife and housework should be shared.
That’s right, take the barfy, snotty, wailing children with you. ”We lumbered through the next few years broke, in law school, and raising toddlers until my mother-in-law died suddenly from cancer.
Under stress and bereavement, both of us felt a desperate need to celebrate something. ” he said, hesitantly, one night after we’d put the children to bed. He picked it up and began drying.“You should have the protection of marriage,” he said. Or like we’re in a Western movie.”“You can say, ‘That there’s my pard’ner.
It doesn’t matter.”Beware these warning signs in a relationship, when compromise becomes defeat. I even bought an iron — and I’d never ironed anything in my life.
These tasks, things under the rubric of “what wives do,” became chores I resented, yet also felt fiercely territorial over, as if they gave me value and worth.
It was our date night, or what had functionally become fight night. ”I lowered my voice so the table beside us couldn’t hear. “We talk and we talk and we talk.”“You don’t get it,” he said, refolding his napkin. because if there isn’t a shared understanding of a concept between two people — “collaboration,” “marriage,” “husband,” “wife” — then language fails. I didn’t get it because collaboration assumed a person, a whole self, rather than someone who feverishly, with distressed eagerness, struggled to maintain a role. Unexpected habits return; I bike around the city again. Time spent in my own company for no purpose whatsoever. What do we call a woman who places herself at the center of her life? One Saturday afternoon, when my children were with their father, I found my old wedding dress in the back of my closet, still in its original garment bag, still with a wine stain from the reception. Like a gothic bride or a ghost, I drifted through my house paying bills, then later scrambling eggs for dinner dressed in this full-length champagne silk gown.
The candle flickered between us from the force of his breath and then stilled. Shopping at thrift stores, like I did in my early 20s, has become a Saturday thrill. I don’t want to be a bride anymore when I grow up, but every now and then I still like to dress like one.However, a husband should never feel inferior or useless.It is not necessary to have the family supported by one person.It’s that simple.”“We only stay because we want to be here,” he said.“Not because of some ancient ceremony sworn in front of a hundred relatives we hardly know.”Having settled that, we had sex again.The husband should give a chance to show his tenderness and equal duty of responsibility because it takes two people working together to make a relationship to work.A husband takes the role as head of his family and has to provide protection and shelter his wife.If anyone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, my 5-year-old voice proudly said, “a bride.”When my older sister overheard this, she said, “You can only be a bride for a day, idiot. ”I thought about it briefly and corrected my answer: “A wife.I want to be a wife.”In my mind, the image remained the same: a radiant woman, front and center, dressed in full bridal plumage.The differences lead me to conclude that a good husband is a life longs companion that will accompany his wife in planning their lives and together facing the future.It has always been seen that a husband should take charge of external matters while his wife should take care of domestic matters. A good husband has to be "totally involved," sharing the housework to show his consideration.